|About the Book|
I fear other readers may also find this extended satire on Sophism longer than strictly necessary. In order to help busy people make better use of their time, I offer this new translation, where I have taken the liberty of abridging and modernizing the dialogue in a few places.EUTHYDEMUS: My brother and I are the greatest philosophers in the world. Ask us anything.CLEINAS: Like what?EUTHYDEMUS: Okay, heres your starter for ten. Is a thing the same as itself, or is it a different thing?CLEINAS: Huh?SOCRATES: [whispers] Youre supposed to say its the same as itself.CLEINAS: Ah... its the same as itself.EUTHYDEMUS: I shall demonstrate to you that you are wrong. Consider a door. Do you maintain that it is always a door?CLEINAS: I do, of course.EUTHYDEMUS: But what about when it is ajar?[General applause for EUTHYDEMUSs brilliant philosophical insight]EUTHYDEMUS: Ill let my brother do the next one.DIONYSODORUS: Why do elephants paint their toenails red?CLEINAS: I do not know.DIONYSODORUS: It is so that they can hide in cherry trees.CLEINAS: But, I have never seen an elephant in a cherry tree?DIONYSODORUS: Proves it works then![More applause]CRITO: Are these clowns real philosophers?SOCRATES: Hey, youre smarter than you look.